patently Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 No point beating around the bush: my mum is dying. She's been having chemo for a few months now, we all thought it was going ok but in fact she's been getting steadily weaker. The consultant has just said that she is too weak to continue with chemo, so from now on it is palliative care only. Looking at her today, I have to agree with the doctor. We have maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. So if I do snap at any of you or come back in poor taste, please don't take it personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuprabob Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Really sorry to read this. I can't begin to imagine what your family are going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Time to try and make sure there are no regrets. Hopefully she'll be well enough to enjoy some quality family time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Really sorry to hear this, cancer runs in my family and we've lost too many too it already. I know it comes to all of us eventually, but I can't imagine losing my parents. I suppose the only thing to say is the most obvious that i'm sure you'll be doing anyway, spend every last minute of your time with her, it's more precious now than ever, work, TSN and everything else can wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Very sad. I feel for you and your situation. A friend of ours passed away recently, his funeral is in a week. The only consolation is that he was in a very, very poor way and he's gone to a much better place. Wishing you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Sorry to hear this Patently. Thoughts go out to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Reall sorry to see this. That's proper tough. My thoughts are with you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 A horrible part of life is having to accept the nature of life. No one is immortal, even if all lads think their Mums must be. Be brave, and cherish her for the time she has left. If she knows, then it's best everyone else accepts fate and party as hard as she can, while she can. Party in context is treats, food, drink, quality time, getting the photo albums out, and reconnecting lost family and friends, above all time for love and respect. Now is not the time for upset, misery or gloom (well it is, but that's not for her eyes). Macmillan are tremendous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinspark Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Really sorry to hear this... however, it can often be the kindest thing. I have a friend who has just lost his mother after watching her lose her marbles in a care home - to the extent she didn't even know who he was. I know which way I'd prefer to go. If your dad is still around, make sure you give him lots of attention and support - spouses left behind are often forgotten and take it harder than they let on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 I'm really sorry to hear this Patently, my thoughts are with you and your family and I hope whatever time you all have left together will bring you some comfort when it is needed x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 We are all here to listen or to chat to if you need a distraction and some support. Be there for her and think about all of the good times and as someone else mentions support your Dad it's all to easy to only focus on the one that's suffering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patently Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Thanks all, really appreciated Dad died 15 years ago, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M8CKN Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Chri5 said: Macmillan are tremendous. Agreed. We went through it a couple of years ago with Joannes dad. Awful time but made easier with their help. Cherish the remaining time, leave nothing unsaid and try and stay positive. Our thoughts are with you and yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lussac Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Chri5 said: Macmillan are tremendous. Agree very much with this. I lost my mum to cancer in November 2010, she died at home with daily attendance from the Mcmillan nurses who sat with her to give us a break. Also lost my dad 8 weeks later, he had dementia and died in hospital after a fall. Know what you're going through at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimdiesel Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Struggling to reply to this thread as its something I experienced back in 92. I hope you will be able to use this time fully to be with your mother. From my experience it brought our family closer together and I look back on it now, as a very bitter sweet time. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 So sorry to read this, Patently, I'm sure you and your family will do the best thing for your Mum and make sure her time with you is as good as can be. Thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Bad news mate and I echo others' sentiments. Thoughts with you and yours. You might find TSN a welcome lift in dark times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 All I can do is echo the above comments. Nothing else I can add of worth ir value, as I have never been in this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian_C Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Sorry to hear your news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m4ttm4son Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Sorry to hear, mate. I dread these days to come. Hope you can make the best of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigyb Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Again, same as everyone else, really sorry to hear it. I lost both my parents the same way just other way around, my mum 15 years ago and my dad last year. It's tough and I understand what your feeling. So be strong. It brings a tear to my eye just typing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stooH Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Sorry to hear the news, despite a couple of close misses with the in-laws the nearest person to me was my Grandfather (who I was quite close to) who died of cancer, as others have said all you can do is be there for her, keep her company and support her through it. I know it's awful thinking about the practicalities but are you looking at a hospital, hospice or home care? We've got a fantastic hospice very close to us that my Grandfather was in and think it made him more comfortable and relaxed in his final days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesB Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Not much to say other than that I am sorry to hear this and you have my sympathy. I hope it all goes as kindly as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patently Posted March 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Again, thanks everyone. It really does help. I'm a little numb, to be honest. I don't think it has really hit me yet. I suspect that when it does, it will do so like a train. MacMillan and the local hospice are getting involved, for now she wants to stay at home so we're all working to arrange that. The nurse from the hospice went through her medication today, and checked she was ok for sleeping pills... Mum said she tries not to use them much because she doesn't want to get addicted to them. Ummm... next she'll be telling us stuff is too fattening So I think both of us have some adjusting to do. My utterly-fantastic sister will be off work over the weekend so will stay there with her. I kind of want to get the children up to see her, but know they'll be shocked when they clap eyes on her & that she'll be exhausted (she spent half an hour napping against my shoulder this afternoon). I'm inclined to try and arrange a brief visit though. Perhaps Mrs P could nip out to town with one kid at a time, just leave one plus me plus Sis. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Very sorry and saddened to read this. Having been where you are, i like you was numb. I didn't really hit me until it hit me if you understand me. There's not much more i can add right now, thoughts are with you and the rest of your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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