jimdiesel Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 Lovely words Patently. Thoughts are with you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 I'm so glad you had that time although it was so short. I hope future Mother's Days will be days full of joyful memories rather than the pain you must be feeling today. My thoughts are with you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 So sorry to read this Patently. Hope you are all ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon magnifique Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 Your eulogy brought a tear to my eye, patently. I'm sure we all hoped your mum had weeks rather than mere days, but perhaps this was for the best. You did at least have those few precious days together at home. Sincerest condolences to you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarMad Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 I'm glad you had time to say goodbye and its lovely to see how proud of her you were and I'm sure she was of you all. RIP to your Mum and we are all here to help you through it if only for the distraction if nothing else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldavo69 Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 Very poetically put patently. Very moving in light of it being such a difficult day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tipex Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 Touching words Patently. So sorry to hear of her passing, I have a lump in my throat reading your statement. Nothing more really I can say that hasn't already been said, thoughts are with you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waylander Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 Beautiful sentiments. May she and you all have Peace now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m4ttm4son Posted March 10, 2013 Report Share Posted March 10, 2013 Sorry to read of her passing today. As above, my thoughts are with you and yours through this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theduisbergkid Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 What lovely words on your blog, Mr P, she's at peace now and I hope you and your family are coping as well as can be expected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biscuits Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 Very moving reading your blog Patently. So sorry you and your family have lost your mum, the only consolation is she is now resting peacefully and not in pain. She will be missed and I'm sure it will take some time for life to be back to normality. Love to you and all the family, if you ever need a shoulder we're both here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 Sorry to hear this mate. Thought your blog was very good and food for thought for us all not to take life for granted. All the best and thoughts with you and yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruiser647 Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 Sincerest condolences. All the best for you and yours during this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stooH Posted March 13, 2013 Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 Only just seen this, really sorry for the loss, it's a blessing that it was swift, there's nothing worse than a long drawn out losing battle. Thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mook Posted March 13, 2013 Report Share Posted March 13, 2013 Patently I'm sorry to hear the news. Cherish every memory of her forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patently Posted March 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Look what is being said about the surgeon who operated on Mum's original cancer: Bosses at an NHS trust failed hundreds of breast cancer patients, an independent report has found. The report by lawyer Sir Ian Kennedy found concerns about surgeon Ian Paterson dated back to 2003 but were not dealt with for four years. He carried out "cleavage sparing" mastectomies while at the Heart of England NHS Foundation Trust and the review found some women were exposed to a risk of cancer returning. The trust said it was "very sorry". "Exposed to a risk of the cancer returning"... well, it was more than a "risk" in her case. It came back, it happened. And it killed her. So... the Trust is sorry. Oh well, that's all right then. Wait - no it's not, I've still lost my mother. Them being "sorry" doesn't help me in the slightest. I'd quite like this Patterson guy's address, actually. Not to do anything I might regret in the morning, just because I'd like to write to him and let him know how this has affected me. No, I'm not feeling very happy about this at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewNiceMrMe Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Patently, whilst I know this won't change anything, is there nothing can be done from a formal apology perspective? We received one (my sister and I) from the hospital that misdiagnosed my Mums pancreatic cancer for 7 months. They conducted an investigation (after I lodged a formal complaint) and we received a copy of the report, formal apology and two Doctors (and a nurse) were subject to trust action. It didn't change anything but it did mean we had a little peace of mind about their potential conduct in future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milo Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) You have my sympathies, patently. In 2008, my mother-in-law (who was then 69) was diagnosed with a 'very slow growing cancer that she could out-live, even without treatment". She went for a few scans on the area concerned (next to her spleen, I think). She continued to get worse and the consultant said it was nothing to worry about as the scans were showing the tumour hadn't grown, in fact was shrinking. She underwent chemo in 2009 but her health continued to deteriorate. Scans showed the tumour to have reduced and the consultant actually said something along the lines of she should pull herself together. She was caring for my f-i-l who had dementia and the inference was she was depressed and not eating and needed to start looking after herself. She was prescribed anti-depressants and given food supplement drinks to try and put some weight on (she was under 7 stone by then). In August 2009, my wife (the most placid person I know) lost her temper with the consultant and demanded her Mum be given a full scan. She basically refused to leave until he agreed. She had her scan on 9th September and on 11th September (my wife's birthday), the 2 of them went for the results. She was told the cancer had spread aggressively to several places, including her bones. About the only place it hadn't grown significantly was the original site, the only site they'd been monitoring. She died in a hospice on October 5th, just over 3 weeks after being properly diagnosed. There has been no apology, no explanation, no admission that maybe they could've done more. They simply said that if she'd had the scan 'earlier', they wouldn't have offered treatment as she was too weak. Convenient. I can only guess what might go through my wife's head if she lies awake in the middle of the night. I know what would be going through mine. Edited March 4, 2014 by Milo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-bmw Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Deeply sorry for your loss, and I know what I say will make no difference to your grieving process, I cant help but add my thoughts for you & yours at this moment of grief and through your grieving process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 I feel your anger and frustration, P. My mum had a brain tumor misdiagnosed for a year. They said she was depressed and gave her enough pills to make her rattle. Every week she was worse until one evening she was so bad that she was rushed into the local A&E. A young Aussie doctor asked if she'd had any scans, which she hasn't. He got get her in straight away and there was the tumor. Straight up to the Royal Free at Hampstead and operated the next day. She still going strong 20 years later, thank God. Had it not been for that young doc, I don't think she would have survived. We never received any letters or apologies, just lots of shrugs and 'not my department'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm Chris Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Mum went in because she had a toe that was black, she came out in a black bag. First there was the bypass surgery, done so late they chopped the infected toe off at the hip. Then because they fecked up the leg off, she got further infection which they didn't notice. By the time they did, it was all too late. Now with Dad (even though they had divorced 25 years prior) being a dental surgeon he thought he'd have a go at them, not for money, all he wanted was an acceptance of error and a review of the internal system to improve things to prevent such problems reoccurring. He wasted 2 years of his life getting nowhere. Well, he had progress throughout- 6 months to agree some notes could be seen, 6 months before he got them, 6 months to digest them in technical detail and spot clear errors, 6 months for them to review there records and compare with his findings. About 6 months before he died he had to give up, all that work simply meant the hosital review process would have another 6 months or so to take the matter higher and then (likely) refute his counter report. Why do you think Doctors make the worse patients? It might just be something to do with the fact that for most there's an accepted percentage fail, pity the few percent it fails for. I don't mean to sound so damning, and I would say my experiences of hospital (including six month stays and a 35 stitch bashing being fixed) is that they are mostly all doing there very best. It makes it all the more sad when someone treats something as routine, when it not and it all falls apart in the patients world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinspark Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 One thing I know is that mum wasted a lot of time trying to get answers about dad's death... Why they didn't diagnose his pulmonary fibrosis until he was days from death. Then she went chasing them over mis diagnosis of her issues... In the end it consumed her life at times and I couldn't get her to shake out of it. I was with her, up until the point I had my near miss and witnessed just how good the NHS can be. Nobody goes to work to do a bad job, least of all healthcare professionals... But sometimes they make mistakes and for that we need to forgive, I don't think any good comes of chasing and hounding those who make an error of judgement. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patently Posted March 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Thanks TS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 Did anyone see: An hour to save your life, tonight. BBC2. Did show some amazing health care individuals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milo Posted March 4, 2014 Report Share Posted March 4, 2014 I've had some great experiences of the NHS, and some terrible ones. I am going for surgery at end of March to hopefully repair the consequences of them failing to spot a broken radial head in my elbow (and fracture in each wrist) following an accident on my bike. I've already been advised I'll probably never get the full range of movement back. I've also been advised by my own GP to take legal action, as in his words "it is clearly a case of medical negligence". I'm yet to decide what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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