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James Allen


jb44
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Greetings all Petrolsniffers

I am shocked and dismayed to see no posts insulting and denigrating that pile of bovine excrement known as James Allen. Where is the hate-mail, the death threats, the outrage? Being South African I am off course very keen to hunt him down like a rabid dog and then kill him, but your customs' fascists won't let me in; not armed anyway - BASTARDS!!!!So the only sollution is to reinstate the SA GP and send that........that...person to us.

Please excuse my cheek, it's where I keep my tongue

Johan Buchner

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I have to agree - the man is a total cock and keeps annoying me every race!

I'm considering generating a website to generate even more attention for the level of cockness employed!

I feel the very annoying part though is if you raise the issue with ITV on their forums, your post just gets deleted - must be moderated by the said cock I feel....

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  • 2 weeks later...

I will admit that James Allen is the fly in the ointment of Formula One, but he's not that bad. Damon Hill in qualifying in the Hungarian GP was much worse and every decent sport has bad commentators eg. football has David Pleat and Rugby has Jonathon Davies. I personally think it's god's way of saying "Yes, you can have this tremendously entertaining "sport" but you have to put up with a crevise commentating, that's the rule. If you get rid of James Allen i personnally think Formula One will get worse. I don't know how, maybe they'll all have to drive the same car and not allowed to overtake... possibly?

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Let's be fair though, Damon was hired to voice some opinions on who was doing waht. His profession is not commentating, so to expect him to be brilliant at his first or second attempt would be a stretch. Allen is paid week in week out by ITV to be just that. Except......

Here in Australia we get the the ITV commntary, and I thought on the whole during the race Damon did pretty well, he was engaging and knowledgable, and he didn't make me want to throw things at the TV when he spoke. The complete opposite of Allen. The bloke is a complete idiot. If I have to listen to one more "Isn't Lewis great" speach I think I'll scream.. There was one bit when channel Ten forgot to switch them back on after a break, and we got to listen to the cars and watch the race without any interuptions from the whining idiot. Bliss. Unfortunately they noticed their mistake and turned the reedy voiced twat back on. At the season opener, we got Murray Walker for the whole race!! Absolute gold.....

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[ QUOTE ]

If I have to listen to one more "Isn't Lewis great" speach I think I'll scream...

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah - it's almost as bad as his "Jenson is wonderful and smooth as $hit pate" speech which he seems to have forgotten to do this season...Strange that. Not that I miss it - his histrionics at Button having a jammy win in the rain in Hungary last year were too much.

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Allen is awful, but I do sympathise with constant the Hamilton sqauwkings. I can imagine ITV top brass will be pushing the commentray team to keep focussing on him as he's great for the ratings. The majority of the people tuning in will only want to hear about the little scamp. It's market forces, people!

The end result is regular viewers and people with more than just a passing interest in motorsport and its latest cause celebre get annoyingly narrow-minded, patronising, lowest common demoninator commentary aimed at the novice. It's an unfortunate coincidence that annoyingly narrow-minded, patronising, lowest common demoninator commentary is all the greasy haired, squeaky voiced mute button inducer is capable of.

I get the same problem if i try and watch cycling in the UK. On the rare occasion any of the pro-tour is shown the production teams assume everyone is as clueless as they are. The BBC is the worst offender usually sticking some athletics commentator behind the mic to mispronounce names and condesendingly inform me of how a derailleur works or how light guys go up mountains quickly. Utter toss.

Notably, Allen used to be the pit correspondant in the days of the great Murray - and got the promotion by default. I think it's time Ted Kravitz got the jump on Allen personally. Take a look at his notebook reports on the itv/f1 sight; very insightful and intersting with good balance and a wry sense of humour. He seems aware of the F1 circus'postion in the grand scheme of things and takes all of the going's on with a pinch of salt unlkie Allen who's clearly a vicarious numpty who considers F1 the be all and end all.

I say give Kravitz a go in the commentary box. Cant' be any worse...

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That's a great idea!!!!

Actually I'd pay good money to see Ted Kravitz batter "The Cock" into a dribbling mess, which incidentally he becomes as soon as Hamilton even thinks about getting near an F1 car anyway.

Damon was okay, but not as good as Jenson was when Honda broke the rules a few years ago, maybe he should change careers, I don't reckon he's got a hope with that lot of cretins at Honda. Mind you he would be swapping a bunch of them for one very large one in the shape of JA.

Who's for chipping in for a contract maiming of JA?

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[ QUOTE ]

Let's be fair though, Damon was hired to voice some opinions on who was doing waht. His profession is not commentating, so to expect him to be brilliant at his first or second attempt would be a stretch. Allen is paid week in week out by ITV to be just that. Except......

Here in Australia we get the the ITV commntary, and I thought on the whole during the race Damon did pretty well, he was engaging and knowledgable, and he didn't make me want to throw things at the TV when he spoke. The complete opposite of Allen. The bloke is a complete idiot. If I have to listen to one more "Isn't Lewis great" speach I think I'll scream.. There was one bit when channel Ten forgot to switch them back on after a break, and we got to listen to the cars and watch the race without any interuptions from the whining idiot. Bliss. Unfortunately they noticed their mistake and turned the reedy voiced twat back on. At the season opener, we got Murray Walker for the whole race!! Absolute gold.....

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point well made. Why should we have to put him with this stain rabbiting on our television!

STOP THE COCK!

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No matter how much we all protest at the lousy haired, cr@p coming out his mouth git, ITV won't change him for some unbeknown reason. He must have a hell of great blackmail strategy.

Martin Brundle must have the patience of a saint standing next to him in the commentary box. Maybe we could persuade Martin to tw@t Allen?

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...

[ QUOTE ]

I don't think he's all that bad. Put it this way, I couldn't do a better job, and unless you could then why complain? To put commentating in perspective, try watching one of the races with American commentators - absolutely shocking...

[/ QUOTE ]

James? Is that you? yelrotflmao.gif

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Do not get me started on James Allen, what a poor commentator, and particularly poor in the Brazilian GP where he somehow contrived to miss the lights going out at the start (!!) and was talking about some irrelevant topic of discussion as the lights went out...

"bla bla blaa blah blah... and oh, no lights at the top of the screen and a good start there by Hamilton and... " and so on...

ITV in general were crap at that race, cutting to an advert break whilst Hamilton's gearbox stopped working for instance, and missing Raikkonen passing Massa in the pit-stops as another example. There were more, but I can't be bothered to find them all out!

Oh - and the build up to the show was one of the worst I've ever seen. Far too many completely shite, arty build-up clips. Normally they don't do a bad job of filling the hour before the race - so why did they mess it up so badly this time, with viewing figures their highest in several years!?

Maybe that's why; maybe they thought they needed to serve up a different variety of crap to get the general public into the sport.. truly perplexing...

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